Is this what you wanted?

They say you don’t something for nothing in this world, those people are just lazy. Sometimes all it takes to get what you want, is just to ask, really hard.

This guy wanted, for a reason I can’t fathom, to get a reply from me, so here it is.

From [redacted]

Subject: Why are you ignoring me?

hi there karl

I’ve emailed you several times now and had no answer. you supposedly pride yourself on fan interaction what gives?

-

To [redacted]

Subject: Why are you ignoring me?

If there was an emoticon for a sigh this is where it would go.

Right. You have over the last few weeks sent me no less than 5 emails, all of which are obvious attempts at goading a reply. Sometimes I don’t respond to an email, purely because I don’t think replying will yield an interesting result, usually though I do it just to fuck with people. Your messages have ranged from calling me a “fag” to saying I smell of “dog shit”, which among other things suggests you think I’m gay for dogs, which I’m not, anymore.

Regardless, your messages although I suspect involved a proportionately large part of your meager intellect simply weren’t offensive, interesting or even retarded enough to warrant replies or inclusion on my site. In other words, you were so decidedly average and ineffective in you threats, insults and writing, I ignored you.

Here’s a hint buddy, ask your boyfriend to do you a little harder against the wall to lose a few extra brain cells before you send another one and I might get back to you.

See, now that’s a creative insult, it’s also my gift to you.

Cheers.

-

From [redacted]

Subject: Why are you ignoring me?

Fuck you

-

To [redacted]

Subject: Why are you ignoring me.

See, that’s what I meant. You have absolutely no imagination, which I know is hard since it involves using you mind for something other than telling your hands to not touch your genitals in public, but come on man, try!

But a more pressing issue is, why are you so keen to illicit a reply from me? I mean, I’m flattered that the mentally disabled community has taken such a keen interest in me, but I’m still confused by it. Actually, no, I take that one back, not because it’s harsh to you, but because disabled individuals have no control over how they act, you do. You have the choice to not be an asshole and still act like one, complete with the inability to produce anything but turds.

I know that trolling is “for the lulz” but I kind of feel your heart really isn’t in it.

Cheers.

-

From [redacted]

Subject: Why are you ignoring me?

what do you know about trolling? you suck at it all you do is just let people come to you and then call them gay, thats shit trolling right there buddy

-

To [redacted]

Subject: Why are you ignoring me?

Hmmm, you have a valid point.

However, like you said, I simply sit perfectly still and people come to me, and willingly make dicks of themselves then I insult them, post it and get a laugh. You go out of your way to approach people and insult them.

Just think about that for a second, not too much longer though I don’t want you to hurt yourself. We’re doing essentially the same thing, only it takes far less effort for me. In fact, people will actively seek me out, just to let me mock them, because they think that they’re the one who can put me in my place, despite the fact by sheer virtue of being the one throwing the first barb everyone will instantly take my side. Now considering all that, who’s the worst troll here?

Which is a term I don’t like using about myself, simply because it puts me in the same, filthy, piss covered boat as you.

-

From [redacted]

Subject: Why are you ignoring me?

people dont always take your side, there are people out there who think your a dick

-

To [redacted]

Subject: Why are you ignoring me?

Hmmm, let’s see shall we?

7 thoughts on “Is this what you wanted?

  1. Karl, you sound like me. ‘Cept I would have been a lot more insulting… I think you’re both dumbasses, but unavoidably, “That guy” is a bigger dumbass. Still not taking your side though, just because I think this could have been a lot funnier.

  2. C’est magnifique! Funny to read and entertaining. Remind me to never get into a verbal or written spat with you. A suggestion, you may ask? I would like to see what he wrote to you before. If we were going for honest judgement on who was being a jerk first, his first email seems almost polite.

    Keep up the funny. :D

  3. Pingback: For the lulz. « Internet adventures

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