Hungry, to prove me wrong.

A few weeks ago I published this. In it is featured a picture of myself wearing a t-shirt so tight wearing it in public constitutes a hate crime against those with sight. I included it as it was the best way to show people what I meant, however the person below had some very choice words about my weight. This entry is unique as it’s a transcript of a facebook conversation, so the formatting and flow are a little different.

[asshole]

Hey Karl!

Karl Smallwood

Yes?

Can I help you with something?

[asshole]

I read your post about the t-shirt thats some funny shit man

Karl Smallwood

That’s very kind, your happiness almost makes losing my nipples wearing that thing worth it.

[asshole]

just one thing though

Karl Smallwood

Yes?

[asshole]

get your ass to a gym

Karl Smallwood

I would but I get enough exercise eating (I glued my knife and fork to dumbbells)

[asshole]

Haha no but seriously man your skinny as shit its not healthy

Karl Smallwood

Although your concern is admirable, it’s not needed. I’m perfectly healthy and my thinner frame allows me to move better in crowds as well as being more aerodynamic

[asshole]

I could snap you like a twig

Karl Smallwood

Funny how I see that as more of a flirty message than a threat.

[asshole]

what are you trying to say?

Karl Smallwood

Nothing, nothing at all. I’m sure you could snap me like a twig, good job we live in a society where breaking people’s limbs isn’t the norm eh? otherwise I’m sure you’d be getting your hands on all the others guys bones.

[asshole]

too right

I’d break your skinny ass in too

Karl Smallwood

I’d bet you would, you seem like the kind of guy who’s had experience with having their ass split.

[asshole]

are you trying to say something

Karl Smallwood

Of course not.

[asshole]

Good

Karl Smallwood

I’m typing it.

[asshole]

your just asking for someone to kick your ass you know that

Karl Smallwood

No, I’m not. What is your obsession with my ass? First you tell me I look good, then you talk about my ass? Is this a precursor for the conversation you’re planning on having with your mum or something?

[asshole]

im trying to help you man

no girl is gonna want to touch you with a body like that

Karl Smallwood

I’d beg to differ, but I’m above making your mother jokes. She obviously suffers enough.

[asshole]

say what you want man while im rolling in girls at the gym you can sit making your “jokes” online peace

Karl Smallwood

Deal! There’s a ton more girls online anyway. Thanks for all your help x x

[asshole]

you dont have any girls you gas ass chicken shit

Karl Smallwood

No, no I do not. Women are not things, I cannot own them. Kudos to you on your insults too, they’re just hilarious enough to not be offensive, a rare skill.

[asshole]

they are not they are facts

your a skinny shit who needs a fucking steak a guy like you would get his ass kicked where I come from

Karl Smallwood

Yes, where you come from does seem like the kind of place they’d attack people who are different. Good bye [redacted]. Do not contact me again.

[asshole]

what you gonna do about it

hello answer dipshit

I knew you were a pussy when i saw your picture

Karl Smallwood

Like you’d know what a pussy looks like. BLOCKED! I WIN!

You can no longer message [redacted]. Learn more.

7 thoughts on “Hungry, to prove me wrong.

  1. Epic. I love the way you deconstruct these assholes’ arguments. People like that never know what to do in that situation.

  2. Haha, Karl, although there are plenty of men who would love to break you in, I believe that you most certainly won…this time. Just based on this guys words, if you go to the gym, just stay away from the showers. I personally like to think that the ‘stick man who let himself go’ is a good look for you, and plus, it’s always nice to be around somebody skinnier than me :P

  3. Pingback: For the lulz. « Internet adventures

  4. I guess you kind of HAVE to answer them right? they’re giving you all the material needed for a good book haha, you’re awsome. Thank you Karl, thank you very much.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s