Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

I was unsure about publishing this exchange, mainly as it was nothing but a personal attack on my appearence. But, not doing so means the other guy won, so screw that guy, here it is.

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From [redacted]

Subject:  Just wanted to let you know …

that you’re one ugly fucker. Stop posting pictures of yourself.

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To [redacted]

Subject:  Just wanted to let you know …

that hurt my feelings. It’s like you don’t even realise the most hurtful words come from strangers on the internet. It seriously feels as though my eyes are made of bees right now, you know, because of all the tears that are stinging my cheeks. I’d show you a picture, but you hate that, so here’s the closest representation I could think of. :'(

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From [redacted]

Subject:  Just wanted to let you know …

I knew you’d come out with some emo shit like that. You’re just a long haired pussy always posting picture of yourself on Twitter all the time no ones impressed you know.

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To [redacted]

Subject:  Just wanted to let you know …

I’d hardly say I’m “always” posting photos of myself, hell the last one I posted of myself was when I made a boat at work and that was over a week ago. If you consider once a week to be “all the time” you must strive to have the most depressingly sporadic sex life ever. Sorry dude, I like dicking around at work, taking pictures of me dicking around is my way of getting one over on my boss. Because for those few seconds I’m being paid to not work, does that make sense? Or would you prefer a picture or diagram? You seem like the kind of person who likes pictures apposed to long reams of text.

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*Click here to see me in a boat.

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From [redacted]

Subject:  Just wanted to let you know …

I don’t want any pictures of your ugly fucking face. You’re obviously such a fucking poser, why else would you always be wearing a shirt and tie like a douche.

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To [redacted]

Subject:  Just wanted to let you know …

Erm. That’s my uniform, it’s supposed to be white, but I wear black because I’m so emo, obviously. I can’t blame you for not realising that though, it’s not like I mentioned that I take those pictures at work in the previous email or anything. If I was being a poser, wouldn’t I take the pictures in front of the mirror before I went to work? You know the place I get my nice clothes covered in sweat and shame.

Then again, if I’m so annoying and so ugly, why do you follow my Twitter close enough to have evidently seen several photos of me, which you probably tried masturbating to before realising you couldn’t climax and thus come to the conclusion I’m too ugly. Why did you do that huh? Why?

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From [redacted]

Subject:  Just wanted to let you know …

Are you gay or something?

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To [redacted]

Subject:  Just wanted to let you know …

No, although I would consider it for a man with a penis size of over 3 inches or an IQ of over 80, you don’t have to worry about either darling.

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From [redacted]

Subject:  Just wanted to let you know …

Whatever. Just stop posting poser pictures of yourself, it’s annoying and you’re face offends me

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To [redacted]

Subject:  Just wanted to let you know …

To stop taking poser photos I guess I’d need to start first, here you go baby, this is just for you. Now I’m going to work, so keep an eye on Twitter. X X

To see more “poser” pictures of me, follow me on Twitter.

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