I Wrote a F*****g Book!

You may have seen me mention my book on this website before, well, you can actually go buy it, right fucking now! For the low price of 77 pence, if you deal in inferior, American money, it’s a little bit more, but then again, you have McDonald’s that do home delivery and cheese that comes in cans, you have enough.

Internet Adevntures is the culmination of 2 years of work and contains virtually every email exchange I’ve ever published along with 20 new ones. Now that Internet Adventures has gone live, I will no longer be publishing email exchanges on this website, so the only place you’re going to find new ones is in this book. That’s called marketting, or something.

Here’s the blurb if you’re too lazy to click the link it buy it on Amazon.

A 10th level black belt in Internet comedy, Karl Smallwood (who is fully aware of how ridiculous his name sounds, thank you) has made a hobby out of cyber-pestering businesses, public servants, internet trolls, and basically anybody else for whom he has a valid e-mail address.

Now, he brings you his greatest hits in a convenient ebook form! Experience Karl’s inbox like never before. By reading this book digitally, it’s like you’re really there, inside the e-mails, like Tron or something! Maybe, anyway.

You feel the pain of each stinging rebuke, the pleasure of each absurd meta-joke, and the tears as Karl emotionally confronts the parents who gave him up for adoption one rainy night on the steps of a centuries-old monastery in Tibet, where the monks raised him to be a travelling warrior poet who can only speak in rhyming couplets. (Note – Contents the of book may be changed before publication.)

17 thoughts on “I Wrote a F*****g Book!

  1. I will never not buy a book for $.99. (I have access to cheese in a can.) However, I don’t think I have ever been more excited to buy a book for $.99 as the only disposable currency I have at the moment is in Amazon gift money. Hooray!

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  4. Hey there. Since you have been receiving a bunch of crap, I wanted to counterbalance with some cheer I guess. I bought your book and wrote a review on Amazon to encourage other people to buy it. I think it is funny as shit and I am glad to see you put it out there. I am on bedrest and have been for the last few years with Chronic Fatigue. I love everything that you write and it has gone a long way towards keeping me sane as I battle boredom. Discovering your work is one of the highlights of being stuck on the internet with nothing else to do. I get cheered up just seeing that there is a new post to read.

    Also, the cow desktop made me laugh harder than anything has in a long while. I think I appreciate your work more because you seem to know when to attack and when to just let it go. Thanks for turning bad into comedy!

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  7. Can you please, please, please, release a version of this that can be read on the nook, or just an open-source .epub file? I really want to read this, but I’m not buying a Kindle.

  8. Karl: I put this review of your book on my Facebook page. You’ll notice I stole one of your jokes, but since I’m providing free advertising to all 9 of my Facebook friends (including both my parents), I’m not expecting any intellectual property lawsuits just yet. Very funny book; I paid 99 cents for it, but I honestly think you low-balled yourself. I would’ve paid 104, maybe even 105 cents. Nice job.

    “Anyone who wants to laugh should buy the book “Internet Adventures” by (the unfortunately named) Karl Smallwood. It is admittedly sophomoric humor but Karl (yes we’re on a first name basis) has a real gift. It typically takes me between 6 months and 8 decades to finish a book, but I read this one in 1 night. I haven’t laughed at a book like this since I read John Kennedy Toole’s masterpiece “Confederacy of Dunces”, which btw if you haven’t read, I will un-friend you (if I can figure out how) and offer condolences to your sex life.”

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  10. I have read your book…there was one part of your book that standed out the most…let me try to put this as short as possible…the part where you mailed a fashion industry was god awful. I am not a expert on stories. i am not a book critic but what i know from books is that a book contains either a story or a way to improve life and a rant about life but this book is none of that. it is a basic reading of your everyday life. being a douche.

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