What if God Was One of Us?

A lot of people find my site by searching for a lot of weird shit, however, one of the more popular terms used to find this humble corner of the internet is the phrase, “liberal atheist” which leads people to this post. Now in that post I wrote that “the most ignorant, elitist people are aggressively liberal atheists” a statement I still fully endorse.Now my site comes way, way back in page results for that search term, which probably explains why the vast majority of people who click it, immediately travel away from the page, just like the hundreds of hits I get weekly on my Power Rangers – The Movie, Abridged Script. Despite being by far the most popular thing I’ve ever published, it has never had a single comment. It’s just one of those things people accidentally click on when they’re searching for something else, I’ve grown to accept that. However, someone has recently took particular insult to my comment and tried to debate me on religion via email.

Because, yeah, that worked so well for the last guy. As usual with email exchanges printed here, I’m in blue.

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From [redacted]

Subject: Atheist quote …

Hello Karl,

I recently read your piece on freedom of speech and religion and despite some minor spelling and grammer mistakes found it to be an enjoyable read, however I felt it necessary to message you to ask you to clarify your statment about “aggressively liberal atheists” being the most elitist people in the world.

What exactly did you mean by that? Because I’m assuming it was a joke, since you can’t possibly be stupid enough to think atheists are worse than religious fundementalists.

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To [redacted]

Subject: Atheist quote …

Hi, thanks for reading and taking the time to shoot me a message, it certainly is humbling to have a professor of “grammer” and spelling take time to critique my work. For the sake of your own sanity, I’d ask you to never look at the comment section of a YouTube video, your head would probably explode and considering the amount of knowledge about the English language and politeness stored in it I’d fear that your next of kin would have to use two paper towels to clean up the mess and I couldn’t live knowing the environment was being damaged.

To clarify my statement, yes, aggressively liberal atheists, you know, like the ones who message random internet bloggers trying to pick a fight to screen cap it on Reddit, are the most arrogant people I know, if only because the people I know with a direct line to an omnipotent deity in the sky who specifically tells them to not be a dick on pain of burning in agony forever, rarely take time out of their day to try and insult me.

I hope this answers your question, cheers!

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From [redacted]

Subject: Atheist quote …

Karl, I pity you and the bubble you seem to live in, are you unaware of the millions of people affected by religion every day, the people forced to suffer genital mutilation, the people who are killed for believing in the wrong “god”, the people who are belittled and threatened for choosing not to believe or do you choose to ignore these facts?

Wake up Karl, we’re not the problem, they are and as a writer with an audience you need to be on the side that’s right.

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To [redacted]

Subject: Atheist quote …

I’m fully aware of those issues, what I don’t understand is how people can be so arrogant as to believe they can make someone completely lose faith in deity they’re willing to cut a part of their babies dick off for, with an image macro.

Believing in God is fine, as is not believing in him. What isn’t fine is people doing so aggressively, if you actually read my article, you’d realise that I personally believe atheists to be worse simply because they automatically assume they are right since they have “science” on their side. Which makes them hugely more intolerable.

When a religious person is a dick, I understand that they’re doing so because they truly believe in their heart that in doing so, they’re securing themselves a place in heaven, where beds are made from blowjobs. When I see an atheist being a dick, all I see is someone who believes we only have 1 lifetime to make a difference to the world and they’re spending it trying to make other people feel worse or take away the comfort someone has in believing that their children will get to live forever in ghost form if cancer eats their brain. Fuck those kind of people.

Also, how do you know that you’re right? That’s a bold claim.

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From [redacted]

Subject: Atheist quote …

Karl, I’m not going to dignify that last part with a response and will instead answer it with a question of my own, where is any proof of a so called “god”?

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To [redacted]

Subject: Atheist quote …

I also see that you’re not going to address any of my other points with a response either, cherry picking my answer then dodging my question is a great way to show that you’re different from the religious people you make fun of for being unable to defend their beliefs, way to go.

To answer you question, God, or “Mega Jesus” as he likes to be called is all around us my friend, in the smile of an innocent child, in the crisp breeze of an autumn morning and if what my ex-girlfriend used to shout during sex is correct, in between my legs.

If the main crux of your argument to convince people God doesn’t exist is asking them to provide you with evidence of his existence, as opposed to showing direct, physical proof that he categorically does not exist, you’re really shitty at arguments.

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From [redacted]

Subject: Atheist quote …

You really cannot be stupid enough to say god exists just because no one can prove he doesn’t, have you never heard of the cosmic teapot fallacy?  Its like if I were to say there is a giant teapot floating around in space and then insisted it was true because you couldn’t prove otherwise.

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To [redacted]

Subject: Atheist quote …

It’s nothing like that, teapots don’t have beards, or sex with virgins. They’re nowhere near metal enough for that shit. Also, kudos on your original argument, again, quoting things you read word for word to prove your argument is a great way to differentiate yourself from all those religious wackos quoting their bibles instead of actually answering questions.

So let me just get this straight, you’re saying, that categorically, despite the infinite expanses of the universe that there is no chance, regardless of how infinitesimally small, that God, doesn’t exist? Even though such a statement would require you to be omniscient, a power that you’re specifically trying to say can’t possibly exist?

And you mock religion for not making sense?

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From [redacted]

Subject: Atheist quote …

Fuck off.

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To [redacted]

Subject: Atheist quote …

I thought so.

11 thoughts on “What if God Was One of Us?

  1. This was excellent as always but I cant help wondering how you would have responded if he made the same intelligent argument that this guy does to your point http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWgxZOOC300 (about the first 3 mins is the bit I’m talking about)

    It came up on my YouTube page and I thought of this article and just thought it would be interesting to hear your thoughts.

    • Well after watching that video, it becomes an argument of semantics, it’s also not an intelligent argument, it’s him, again, cherry picking a certain point and extrapolating a certain piece of the argument to his owns means and then peppering it with slights towards religion, that’s just called being a dick.

      Anyway, as he says in his video, he’s very correct to say “there’s no evidence that there is a pizza in front of me” however, saying there is no pizza, anywhere in the entire universe is rather different.

      It’s fine for people to say they don’t believe in God, the main crux of this exchange was me mocking this guys attitude that he was unequivocally correct, that he can say that there is absolutely no chance that he is incorrect. That’s a dangerous attitude to have, not because God might exist, but because it breeds an attitude of superiority.

      A common atheist claim is that religion is the cause of most of the worlds problems, but when you boil that statement down, it basically ends up as “people thinking that they’re absolutely, unquestionably correct about something” is the cause of the majority of problems.

      It’s the same with both religion and atheism, when someone is absolutely concrete in their beliefs and won’t sway or wavier in the slightest, that’s when they’re an insufferable dick. The world needs disagreement and debate.

      Here’s an example I like to use 400 years ago people knew that disease was caused by bad smells, that was absolute truth, until one guy proposed that it was actually caused by tiny microscopic germs. Because they just knew they were correct, the highest minds of the time had him commited. 100 years later that guy was shown to be 100% correct.

      Does that mean we should believe in God, no, does that mean we should always keep an open mind to something being somewhat based in truth, however miniscule, if only because it allows man to explore and deepen his understanding of the world and universe. Yes it fucking does.

      Not being 100% certain about something, like whether or not god exists doesn’t make our beliefs weak, it makes us human and when you’re trying to argue that God doesn’t exist, being human is all we can be.

      • WOW okay, wasn’t expecting quite as much back but thanks, just want to point out though that the guy in the video said at the end that he’s orthodox evangelical Christian so I’m assuming he wasn’t trying to be a dick to religious people by creating that video. I think your points are absolutely correct however because your assessment that the problem is people believing they are unquestionably correct rather than what they subscribe that belief to is something I believe. However although it would be nice to live in a world where debate and disagreement is accepted unfortunately there will always be that group that wrecks it for everyone I suppose.

  2. It is really funny how this guy thinks you are saying god exists not once did you ever admit to believing such a thing(not that I am saying you don’t believe that, but you never said that). He had nothing better to come back with so he went on the same rant he would do to a religious freak!! Haha perfect

  3. Scientists are violating the tenants of their own profession by asserting whether there is or isn’t a deity. Assuming they used the ‘scientific method’ the null hypothesis would be ‘there is no God’ and the alternate hypothesis would be the opposite assertion. How can you test that? It is an untestable hypothesis. Plus, a scientist can never ‘accept’ a null hypothesis, only reject it. So, in strict terms, a scientist can’t even accept the hypothesis that the sun rises in the east, only repeatedly fail to reject it, because hell, one day it might rise in the west, making the alternate hypothesis true and possibly scaring the shit out of the scientist enough to reject the original null hypothesis concerning God. Simply put, you can never, by scientific methodology, prove anything beyond doubt. I am basically a dumb ass, so take it of what it is worth. My personal thinking is the iPhone principle. Science believes everything except the Giant Teacup is a result of random events. If so then the Earth, the human race, and creations by the human race such as the iPhone are all the result of random events. I can’t imagine an iPhone, an intricate piece of machinery, merely coming into existence. If we didn’t have religion, we would find other reasons to hate others, I think your countrymen ‘Spinal Tap’ put it best when they said their message is “to love your brother.” They didn’t literally say it or literally mean it, but the message is quote clear.

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