The One Question Online Atheists Really Need to Answer. Comic.

Every now and again I like to mix things up with a comic instead of an article. This week I thought I’d share my opinion on the one question that all the people you see online with the word “Atheist” emblazoned somewhere on their online avatar need to answer. In comic form. Below the comic is a brief explanation of why I felt that way when making it. The basic answer is I was bored waiting for Battlefield 3 to install on my Playstation.

DSC_0365This comic is mainly aimed at the kind of people you see on YouTube with the word “Atheist” somewhere in their name. The kind of people who genuinely believe that identifying themselves as an atheist is an actual substitute for any sort of personality. That simply by saying they don’t believe in God they automatically deserve the right to speak knowledgeably about an incredibly dense, academic subject some of the finest minds on the planet have pondered since the dawn of mankind.

I’m not saying that you can’t be an atheist or ask questions about other’s faith. But if you’re the kind of person who thinks that there is no God, that there is nothing but an endless abyss of nothingness to look forward to after we die and that the life we have right now is the only one we’ll ever have. And then proceed to spend that one life being a dick to other people because of what they believe in. You’re a fucking asshole.

How I pissed of thousands of people at once. Again.

Earlier today I had an article published on Listverse, 10 Reasons Creationism Should Be Taught In Schools, as you can probably tell from that title alone, it’s been quite popular to say the least.

This is my Mona Lisa.

This is my Mona Lisa.

At first glance, it would seem like the list is written to argue that Creationism should be taught in lieu of evolution or alongside it, which I can understand, however, if you actually read it, I’m making a different point entirely. That’s why anonymous comments on the article itself look like this,

Untitled copyAnd why comments on my personal Facebook wall looked like this.

Untitled copy UntitledThe article, as I intended it to be read, in no way suggested that Creationism be taught as fact, or in lieu of science. How do you know I’m not lying to cover my tracks now that all those well spelled and thought out rebuttals have shown how retarded I am, well, read the first fucking paragraph of the article, something a lot of people seemed to not want to do in favour of sending me death threats.

Untitled copyThe rest of the article is referencing that exact situation, because that’s how a list fucking works. Each subsequent entry follows on from the one before it. The list isn’t trying to convince people that we should be teaching creation instead of evolution, it’s trying to convince people that teaching both isn’t a bad thing.

Now that article wasn’t written by me off the cuff, the site editor asked the collective group of Listverse writers to pitch for the idea because he personally felt that the article needed to be written, I agreed with this sentiment and pitched the list you can read on their site right now. I wrote it because over here in Blighty, we have a thing called RE (religious education) it’s openly taught alongside science, history and maths, it’s openly taught alongside evolution.

It gave myself a basic understanding of the 6 major world religions as well as some of the others. It by no means gave me the knowledge to discuss any of them in depth, but it means that now, as an adult, when I see stories like this one. Which discusses the awesomely named Jatinderpal Singh Bhullar, the first Sikh to ever guard the queen while wearing the symbol of his faith. I’m able to understand that the turban is an unshakable several hundred year old tradition strictly followed by all Sikh men. The belief is so strong that they’re even exempt from wearing fucking motorcycle helmets. I’m fully aware that asking a Sikh man to remove his turban is the greatest of insults and understand that he’s trying to find a balance between his faith and serving his queen and country, unlike these fuck wits.

Spell checking is for Arabs.

Spell checking is for Arabs.

For the sake of fairness, here’s a similar story that happened in the US last year involving, the again, awesomely named, Tejdeep Singh Rattan, another Sikh who didn’t want to abandon a life long devotion to his faith and remove his turban, but also wanted to serve his country. Again, the comments were a combination of good for him and, well …

How dare his 400 year old tradition take precedant over our 200 year old one.

How dare his 400 year old tradition take precedent over our 200-year-old one!

Teaching creationism in school isn’t about making children believe in religion, it’s about making them understand it. Even the father of evolution himself Charles Fucking Darwin warned against the dangers of ignorance. Is it really a bad thing for children to learn about something 20 god damn percent of the world believe rather than them know nothing about it and simply make snap judgements.

But, wait, “wah, if people want children to learn about religion, teach them at home, separation of church and state, Carl Sagan, Reddit *FART NOISE!” I wish I was making that up, but it’s pretty much the summation of the emails I’ve received today. Because yes, let’s end people being cripplingly uninformed about religion by having them taught at home by one person with biased opinions, instead of by a state funded professional. Progress!

If you hate religion, if you think that the people who believe in it are “sheeple”, that they’re morons blindly following and quoting something they can’t possibly understand, that you’re so much smarter, shouldn’t it fall to you to be the bigger person and at least try to understand why it is they believe what they do? If only to stop ignorance from causing hostility, which it always invariably does.

Being a dick to your fellow man is much more progressive than trying to get along with him.

Being a dick to your fellow-man is much more progressive than trying to get along with him.

My father always told me that school isn’t just about academics, it’s about the hidden curriculum. Though school is where you’re taught to read and write, it’s also where you learn to bond with others, develop a personality and basically, how to be a human being. Though maths, English and science are incredibly important, subjects like theology, critical thought, sociology and media studies, though perceived as soft options, are incredibly useful at breeding discussion, debate and opinion forming.

The other important thing to note is that even if you don’t agree with religion, the effect it has on your life is undeniable. Our modern concepts of right and wrong, law, order and justice, which you’ll notice as the basis of civilised society, stem from religion to an extent.

My article was never written to argue that religion replace science, is was written to argue that we should all be a little more understanding of other people’s beliefs and that we should start with the younger generation, because the older one is pretty fucked.


If only there was some sort of deity he could pray to, to make that happen.

Comic – Internet Nice Guys.

I’ve recently found that dedicating time to my own site has become increasingly difficult, as writing has quickly started to become my sole source of income, finding time to dedicate to personal projects is becoming increasingly scarce. So I thought I’d try to express my views and opinions in a more succinct way, a way that’s easier to produce, while at the same time being a suitable vehicle for my own brand of humour.

I decided to choose comics, as they’re fairly popular online and infinitely more sharable than any written piece I could produce. Now my drawing skills are pretty lacking, so I tried to best represent the way my own mind works in image form, this is the same mental process I’ll go through before producing any piece you’ll see my name attached to and it’s a subject I’ve wanted to cover in-depth for a while but never had the time.
Internet nice guys. Continue reading

The face of evil.

Last year I wrote this, all about people who were trolling the shit out of a writer I greatly admire. In response I received so much hate mail aimed at insulting my sexual prowess and ability to use my hands to create anything worthwhile that one of my ex-girlfriends orgasmed out of instinct. The key player behind all of that was a single guy, who I swore to myself I’d never out, because he wasn’t worth it. He just became worth it.

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How I Pissed Off Thousands of People at Once

A couple of days ago I published this article, detailing some thoughts I had on fighting games, the response was so overwhelmingly negative that I wrote a follow-up piece, again the response was, frosty at best. The end result was that I pretty much blew up the site hosting them. No, really, here’s the view counter for the month leading up to that day.


That single article matched the entire sites views in a single day and resulted in huge number of comments and backlash. Which is why this article is on my own, personal site. I wrote that article, so I’ll bear the brunt of the blame, is a new venture started by a good friend of mine, it doesn’t need that kind of shitty publicity, not yet anyway. In response to the many, many comments I’ve got, here’s my honest response.

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Friendship is Magic

When it comes to trolling there are two schools of thought.

1. You either ignore the troll and rob them of their audience or …

2. You can display their idiocy for the world to see, giving them an audience, but completely robbing their insult of any potency.

I personally (and rather obviously) prefer the latter, since even if a trolls insult personally gets to me, by mocking them and republishing the results here, the trolls attempts at an insult entertains people instead. And that to me is worth it. Recently, a friend of mine got a whole bunch of shit on Facebook from a guy who disagreed with what something he’d written. Normally I wouldn’t do anything, but then I saw that this guy insulted his girlfriend, so yeah, if people who aren’t involved with this can join in, why couldn’t I? Also, my friend looks like he should be selling expensive knives on late night television, so I couldn’t not do this.

Really expensive knives

Really expensive knives

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Meet the Most Hilariously Misguided People on the Internet (Update)

Update! Ono Sendai, (the guy this post is about) tried to comment on this piece earlier, he asked me why I couldn’t just ignore him, so I deleted his comment. Because I can and because fuck him.

A couple of days ago Cracked columnist John Cheese wrote this article about lazy, annoying jokes he personally dislikes, some of which were popular go to fodder for the comment section (which John doesn’t read) and for some reason, some more vocal users of the comment section didn’t like that and demanded an answer from him, personally, then told him to go fuck himself and then threatened to kill him. Because the best way to show someone you don’t appreciate being called names, is to threaten to kill them. Science!

I fully support him, if only because he's one of the only other white guys rocking a baseball cap.

I fully support him, if only because he’s one of the only other white guys rocking a baseball cap.

Due to the overwhelming amount of “John Cheese should start drinking again and die” comments, started deleting that shit. The overall result has been so overwhelmingly retarded it’s required reading material in the state of Texas.

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