The One Question Online Atheists Really Need to Answer. Comic.

Every now and again I like to mix things up with a comic instead of an article. This week I thought I’d share my opinion on the one question that all the people you see online with the word “Atheist” emblazoned somewhere on their online avatar need to answer. In comic form. Below the comic is a brief explanation of why I felt that way when making it. The basic answer is I was bored waiting for Battlefield 3 to install on my Playstation.

DSC_0365This comic is mainly aimed at the kind of people you see on YouTube with the word “Atheist” somewhere in their name. The kind of people who genuinely believe that identifying themselves as an atheist is an actual substitute for any sort of personality. That simply by saying they don’t believe in God they automatically deserve the right to speak knowledgeably about an incredibly dense, academic subject some of the finest minds on the planet have pondered since the dawn of mankind.

I’m not saying that you can’t be an atheist or ask questions about other’s faith. But if you’re the kind of person who thinks that there is no God, that there is nothing but an endless abyss of nothingness to look forward to after we die and that the life we have right now is the only one we’ll ever have. And then proceed to spend that one life being a dick to other people because of what they believe in. You’re a fucking asshole.

Why No One Will Ever Credit Me for The Most Popular Thing I’ve Ever Written

Edit: I honestly thought this was all done and dusted, but earlier today, Wil Fucking Wheaton shared the joke again, on Tumblr and it’s currently getting hundreds of thousands of views, AGAIN! For those of you who aren’t familiar with what the hell I’m talking about, I’m the original creator of this image.

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Chances are you’ve seen it or at least an edited version of it. I’d actually, honestly be surprised if you haven’t seen the image above because it has been shared, tweeted, liked and reblogged millions of times. In fact, it is easily the best received and most viewed piece of writing I’ve ever done and no one will ever know it was me because some fucker on Reddit blurred out my name. For the record, at the time of writing this I’m a freelance writer and pages views literally pay my bills and feed me. If you stumbled across a blurred version of the image above, please share the original, or the version I posted to Twitter and feel free to tell the person posting it the guy who wrote the joke is super happy they liked it.

Below is the original article I wrote on this subject when it went viral the first time.

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I’ve been writing for a while now and in that time I’ve had a few things go viral. For example, one of the things I’ve helped write for Cracked currently has 6 million views and counting. However, that’s something published through Cracked, they already have a fairly sizeable audience. The dream for all writers, or indeed any content creator is to having something they’ve created go viral purely off of its own merits. A few weeks ago I had that, and no one knew it was me. Continue reading

Comic – Internet Nice Guys.

I’ve recently found that dedicating time to my own site has become increasingly difficult, as writing has quickly started to become my sole source of income, finding time to dedicate to personal projects is becoming increasingly scarce. So I thought I’d try to express my views and opinions in a more succinct way, a way that’s easier to produce, while at the same time being a suitable vehicle for my own brand of humour.

I decided to choose comics, as they’re fairly popular online and infinitely more sharable than any written piece I could produce. Now my drawing skills are pretty lacking, so I tried to best represent the way my own mind works in image form, this is the same mental process I’ll go through before producing any piece you’ll see my name attached to and it’s a subject I’ve wanted to cover in-depth for a while but never had the time.
Internet nice guys. Continue reading

Every seven seconds.

I recently began work on my next project, an article for a real life book that is going to be published by the wonderful people over at Wordplague. The book is focussed on sex and all the depraved and humorous things that go with it.

My personal contribution will be focussed on how various places around the world censor your favourite body parts and how you can effectively show a wang on TV and get away with it if you follow the right rules. I have no idea whether or not this is of any interest to anyone reading it, so here is a picture I drew of a monster going to the dentist.

 

Make words, acquire profit.

I broke my weekly update rule and believe me I totally kicked my own ass for that one. I have a good reason though, MONEY! Sweet, sweet money.

I’ve been offered the chance to contribute to an Ebook, Ebooks as I understand are books that you can’t touch or hold but you can look at, so they’re a lot like my girlfriends breasts.

The book is for my good friend Dennis Hong, who runs this blog. He’s also a handsome motherfucker, which definitely helped sway me into writing in his book.

I have no idea if Dennis would like me to post a picture of him, so instead here is a picture of a rabbit I saw that looks like Rorschach from Watchmen.

I’m betting the rabbit is way more impressive than the fact I’ll be in an Ebook, which I’m totally OK with because I fucking love that rabbit.

Ants in your pants.

I hate ants, I hate them so fucking much that it hurts. Even just thinking about them while writing this makes my skin crawl. They invaded my house yesterday, but fear not internet I set a cunning trap.

Thats not sugar though, that’s poison.