Video games let you escape from the crushing monotony of everyday life by giving you the chance to become anyone, or anything you desire, upto and including a lizard who does nothing but steal other people’s shoes (that’s how I played Skyrim). If you happen to be a fan of video games, why not check out this article I wrote for Cracked, in which I list 6 video games that put stupid amounts of effort into details you probably never noticed. Or just click it and immediately complain about me mixing up Fallout 3 and New Vegas like everyone else did.
As you may, or may not know, I write for a lot of places online, however, Cracked.com will always hold a special place in my heart. A few days ago when I logged on and happened to read this article about reasons your dating profile might suck, I knew the comment section was going to be a shitstorm when I saw that this is was one of the headings.
The second I saw the word “friend zone” I knew there’d be more blue-balled whining from unlikable dipshits than the time Smurfette got snapchat. So I decided to look for some of the more, shall we say, dickish comments and track down the author’s online profile to see what kind of person they are. Continue reading
A week or so ago I posted this article, in which I discussed how a fellow Cracked writer received death threats for insulting the comment section of the site and the subsequent backlash “true fans” embarked upon to destroy Cracked.com as an entity. Since that article went live, I too have been on the receiving end of some uncalled for abuse, most of it from one man. If you’re familiar with my site, or my book, you’re probably aware that my normal protocol is that I’d publish a post mocking that person. However, in this case, I honestly feel like it wouldn’t make any difference.
Because, here’s the thing, I’ve researched the ever-loving fuck out of this person, no really, I spent hours tracking every comment they’ve made across multiple sites to build up a workable image of this person I could share with you guys (because when I do something, I do it right, ladies). This information is now sat in a folder on my desktop, I even went to the effort of changing my background so it looked like a cow was totally grooving on the sweet nectar of my e-hatred.
However, the image I built up, was of a man who leads a life so cripplingly depressing that I simply couldn’t bring myself to mock him, because nothing I could ever write about him would ever sting more than the realisation that he’s stuck the way he is. And considering some of the other stuff I’ve published here, that’s just sad.
A few weeks ago I helped write something on bullshit copyright, trademark and patent disputes, despite the fact I wrote an example which talked about how the cure for fucking cancer could be patented, people only seemed to care that the article only contained the word “copyright”. Like this guy, who wanted to tell me personally.
I normally post content that never made it into the various Cracked articles I’ve written, mostly to let people see things that otherwise, would never see the light of day. However, I’ve since realised that most people who find this site, do so because of Cracked. So for those people, here’s a sneak peek at something I’m currently in the middle of writing. It’s on insane things you won’t believe people can do with copyright. Enjoy.