Hypocrisy is a dish best served lukewarm

Readers of this blog will know that from time to time I’ll use it as a platform to make fun of someone’s ideas or words when I find them particularly offensive or unpalatable. Today when I logged onto Facebook I saw the following post on my wall.

efwefwefwefNow reader’s of this blog will know that’s it takes an exceptional circumstance for me to physically name and shame someone on my site, so I’ll be blocking out all names with the exception of my own and Meagan’s (Since she’s put her information out there for the public to see I see no problem in using her name here) from here on out. But yeah, in a nutshell the person linking that article on my wall wanted me to write or consider writing an article about, in his own words the “very one-sided and very White-Knightish” articles from women who are overly sensitive to sexism in gaming. Like the one he linked on my wall. But first things first, to show I’m not picking on anybody unfairly, here’s an embarrassing picture of me looking like a dick at my graduation.

526165_10152290317810612_2068969164_nFor those of you who can’t be bothered to click that link above. Basically the lady in question was at PAX and was in charge of a bunch of ladies dressed as Lara Croft, in other words she was living out my dream. When she noticed that a guy asked some of the women cosplaying Lara a really awkward probing question about what it felt like to know not a single guy could pork them just right. She, for some reason, took offense, asked him to explain himself, he refused and walked away. When she tried to confront him he became loud, aggressive and yelled in her face before legging it, in return she got him banned from the event. Fucking booyah! Another sexist douche backhanded by the sweet tender hand of lady justice. But wait, that’s not actually what happened, how does little old me know you ask? Well the guy in question happened to comment to fill me in on what really happened that day.

rewfewfwqefweqfwefSee, his awkward question about these women’s sex life was a joke on the dozens of guys currently eye fucking them, if anything, it was a compliment, right ladies? I mean, who doesn’t like strange guys they don’t know from Adam referring to them as a sex object, especially when they’re roleplaying a character specifically redesigned to make into a more relatable symbol of female empowerment. This guy was just trying to lighten the mood with some friendly sex based banter and Meagan up there came barging in like a rhino made of dicks, took everything the wrong way and got him banned from the event for life. Anyway you look at it, that’s at least a little bit of an overreaction. Was my reaction until he followed up with this comment.


For a guy getting worked up about a woman over reacting he sure used a lot of periods, huh?

Yeah, how dare this lady take offense to me asking a bunch of women she’s in charge of making sure aren’t harassed then get pissy when I yelled in her face and stormed off. But whatever, this guy was still hurting, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I really, really did. Even though he’d basically just crammed every single piece of self-entitled MRA infused bullshit he could think of into a single sentence so retarded his shift key stopped working.

And hey, I guess I was right to give him that benefit because as it turned out, according to him, he totally informed those ladies that he was going to ask them the question that Meagan up there got so annoyed about. So him being banned was completely unfair, well, except for the part where he was loud and dismissive to one of the people helping run the entire fucking event, a fact he seemed blissfully unaware of.

However, that’s when it hit me. They were both basically crucifying this lady for daring to overreact to something trivial and then complaining about it online, by bitching about it, online. Seriously, this is an excerpt of the conversation. Look at it, they’re not pissed about sexism or gaming, they’re just using that as a reason to be pissed that this lady didn’t get their awesome and original joke about people eye porking booth babes and told them to fuck off.


You see, it’s THE INDUSTRIES fault that this lady got offended by my joke, not mine.

See that last line, they’re annoyed that Meagan was using the whole thing to push her modelling career by playing the victim and running to her friends and followers to rally around and support her. Now I have no opinion about that, but here’s a tip for everyone reading. If you want to take a pot shot at somebody for playing the victim and getting their friends to big them up and make fun of someone they felt slighted them and want me to write an article about it. Don’t do the exact same fucking thing on your own Facebook wall. Because, you know what, I’ll see that shit and screencap a cap in its ass.

USE this 2

I almost got lead poisoning from the amount of irony present.

I read through that entire thread before unfriending the person who posted it, basically it was just 70 comments of ripping into this woman for being a thin-skinned shithead for feeling the need to run to her internet friends to make fun of a person she didn’t like. Because yeah, what kind of a dick would do something like that?


It’s the 4th to last comment that inspired me to write this blog post. Believe it or not, that comment using rape as way of scoring cheap laughs was the same guy who originally posted Meagan’s article on my wall. The same guy who wanted me to write an article lambasting women for being overly sensitive about people making sexist remarks from guys who don’t really mean them. All while he was making light of rape and sexism in private with the guy he assured me wasn’t being a sexist dick at PAX. Newsflash shit for brains, if you’re inclined to make remarks like that in private, you’re probably a teensie bit sexist, or, at the very least, a douche. Either way, if you’re banned from a place for someone accusing you of being sexist, making light of rape probably isn’t the best way to convince people outside of your friend group that you’re not.

Now this may seem like an odd position, but, you know what, fuck making light of rape and fuck the people who do. There are things you just don’t make into jokes, not because of some white knight bullshit, but because it’s common human decency to not make light of something so horrible.When I pointed out that I’d noticed this comment and was in fact planning on writing this very post, this was the guy’s response.

If you're wondering who liked his comment. He did. He liked his own comment about rape.

If you’re wondering who liked his comment. He did. He liked his own comment about rape. Also, he’s 30 years old.

Yeah, I should totally be objective and lighten up, it’s not like he made fun of a rape victim, he just used rape as comedy fodder, because that’s something people apparently do on Facebook. LOL!

But hey, let’s get serious here. The reason I posted this article is twofold. One, if you’re going to criticise someone online or scrutinise their position or words, expect the same to be done to you. And two, if you want to convince people that you’re not a sexist dick, don’t be a sexist dick when you think no one is looking. Because this is the internet, someone is always going to be looking.

A Year in The Life.

Last year I had a fairly simple New Years resolution. Basically I had a self set goal to do, say, notice, comment upon, write or create one thing each day that would make another person laugh. It’s my opinion that making someone laugh makes the world a better place and any day in which I made someone’s life slightly better, even for a second, could never be considered a waste. With that in mind, here’s a collection of some of my favourite moments and jokes from this year. If I can squeeze even one more smile out of people with these, I’ll consider this year a win.

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Doing Somebody a Favour.

Today marks an important day on the American calendar, election day! And as a Brit I fully respect both sides and their respective candidate. One person though, didn’t share this feeling and felt moved to delete me on Facebook because I was friends with people who supported both Obama and Romney. Now I promised myself that I’d never use my site again to publically out someone for being a dick to me, luckily, this guy was a dick to one of my female friends. So I’m perfectly free to write about him here. Science!

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Why Facebook is more depressing than you think.

Facebook is a double-edged sword, only both edges are covered in shit and the handle is a dick. That said, chances are we’re all going to keep using it because it’s awesome and we like looking at pictures of the people we knew in school who got fat. However, by using it, we’re becoming increasingly boring and predictable to the point the average persons Facebook is more one-dimensional and lacking in content than braille porn.

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Internet adventures – the next step.

I’m finally wrapping up the final few things on internet adventure – the book. So then, I thought I’d post something from my next project which is tentatively dubbed “like a boss”. Which will hopefully be aimed at making several aspects of your life that little bit more awesome, using science and good old fashioned immaturity. Since almost all of my traffic comes from social networking I wanted to start, with Facebook.

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Hungry, to prove me wrong.

A few weeks ago I published this. In it is featured a picture of myself wearing a t-shirt so tight wearing it in public constitutes a hate crime against those with sight. I included it as it was the best way to show people what I meant, however the person below had some very choice words about my weight. This entry is unique as it’s a transcript of a facebook conversation, so the formatting and flow are a little different.

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Lyrics from a Falloutboy song.

The above title is a cleverly worded snipe at the tendency of those in a relationship to post soppy song lyrics describing each other on Facebook. Also it’s because I like Falloutboy, like a lot.

If you’ve ever seen my Facebook, it’s random things I think people will think are funny and pictures of rabbits, (see the post below for examples). Anyone viewing it would have no idea that I had a girlfriend or any romantic interests at all. Well I did, and now I don’t. The only people who knew are me, her and the millions of people I expect will read this. Obviously close friends and family knew, but to the outside world I never had a girlfriend.

And that’s how I prefer it to stay, every day I switch on my computer to see couples fawning over each other on Facebook, liking groups that their significant other will know are about them, posting a soppy status and tagging them in it. Sure I have no problem with them doing this, but one thing I notice is that these posts only have one “like” , from the person it’s about. I know your Facebook is personal and you should be able to choose what goes on it, but when only one person from the dozens if not hundreds of people you know likes what you’re doing, the rest of them probably don’t give a shit.

LOL, look you guys I’m riding on a tortoise! how fucking cool am I?

Sure people are obviously happy that you’re happy like I’m sure plenty of my friends would be happy that my wang life was pretty damn good, but it’s not something they would want to see me plastering over Facebook. Being in a relationship is awesome, and breaking up sucks, but the day-to-day activities of being a couple are something that just isn’t interesting.

Ok sure, being surprised with a  trip to Disney land by your sweetheart is pretty cool, I want to hear about that. But I fail to see how anyone would be at all interested in “I love my boyfriend”. What the guy you sleep with and are tagged with in all of your photos, the guy you mention in every post, you love that guy? Shit that’s news to me.

Now I know some people are romantics, that’s fine, Facebook isn’t a good medium for that, if you want to tell your girlfriend she’s awesome, tell her. Does showing it for all of your combined friends to see accomplish something that simply telling the person doesn’t?

That’s why I was happy for my relationship to pass under the Facebook radar, happy for people who were interested to know, but for those who couldn’t care less to continue enjoying what I posted without “Love you baby, you know how you are” clogging the shit out of their news feed.

Instead they got to enjoy this sweet wolf my sister made!

This almost certainly had it’s downsides, she was definitely pissed off when I wouldn’t change my relationship status and it certainly doesn’t do much for your street cred (which I totally have loads of) when according to Facebook your love life looks about as active as a breakdancing contest in an old people’s home.

But that’s the choice I made and I’ll stand by it, at least until I meet that one totally awesome girl, then I’m going to be all up in that shit. The day this blog turns into a bunch of kitten pictures with lovehearts underneath is the day I meet that girl.