Guest article. Fear the mighty badger.

Partly due to the awesome of this post and mostly due to my innate desire to sit in my underwear watching power rangers repeats. This weeks post will be guest written by a friend of mine, Rogan Tonks. A hulking bear of a human being trained in the arts of jujitsu, kick boxing and Karmasutra, meaning he is actually capable of killing a man with any of his limbs.

And even he fears the badger, respecting and honoring it with the following list.

Badger Fact #1: If a badger sees you, it will kill you.

Badger Fact #2: One internal organ of the male badger is the Badgerus Fundamentum. It is located just behind the sternum and gives the badger all his magical powers, like being able to rip through someone’s skin without tearing their clothes.

Badger Fact #3: Due to their sheer ballsiness, all badgers are male, including the females. To reproduce, badgers fight until one is torn in half. These halves each become a new whole badger.

Badger fact #4: The film “Jaws” was originally about a man-eating badger off the coast of America, but the animal was changed to a shark after too many actors and cameramen were killed to death.

Badger Fact #5: Badgerbaiting is the act of rubbing a badger on your junk in an attempt to gain its courage.

Badger Fact #6: During World War 2, America dropped two badgers over Japan in the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The result was a fiery shitstorm of teeth and shredded Japs. The surrounding area remains uninhabitable to this day as the badgers are still roaming free with an insatiable taste for sushi.

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