Hate Mail Pt 3.

I think I’m slowly starting to realise that people just plain don’t like me, however that doesn’t have to stop me making these people look as stupid as possible does it? I’m in blue, he is red.

From [redacted]

Subject: Your article.

I usually look forward to your articles but i just couldnt forgive the mentioning of steve jobs the day after he died of all times. do you no have any sense of tact or taste im asking you to remove the offending article and republish it when the death of steve jobs isn’t so fresh in peoples minds.

Sent from my iphone.

Wow, I genuinely thought this was just really, really good satire at first, but it turns out this person really fucking meant this shit, for reference they mean this article which features a section that mentions Steve Jobs off hand, I also didn’t write that example, or choose when it was published.

To [redacted]

Subject: Re: Your article.

Hi there it’s always nice to hear from a fan. Steve Jobs dying was by all account a terrible thing and he will be sorely missed but I hardly feel mentioning him off-hand in an article is in any way offensive. Even if I did, I can’t remove the article anyway, that’s not my call.

Think of my article like my pet cat, once I’ve let it out I can’t just bring it back in straight away. I can however clean up its turds, just like I’m doing with your message.


From: [redacted]

Subject: Re, Re: Your article.

i expected better from a proffesional writer who relies on technology steve jobs created to show a little more respect following his death, i guess i was wrong.

Sent from my iphone.

To [redacted]

Subject: Re, Re, Re: Your article.

I’m not going to argue that Steve Jobs was a huge asset to the computer industry, I will however state that I don’t own an apple product. Although kudos to you for promoting the use of one of his products after his death, I’m sure he would be pleased you’re using an iphone to protect his legacy.

I’m absolutely certain that there is not irony at all in the fact you are trivialising the use of one of his greatest inventions to send passive aggressive emails about people trivialising his death.


From[ redacted]

Subject: Re, Re, Re, Re: Your article.

how do you know im using an iphone? at least i have one you must be poor or something to not have one sucks to be you asshole.

Sent from my ipod touch.

To [redacted]

Subject: Re, Re, Re, Re, Re: Your article.

I know by the fact your iphone tells me you’re using it, and now your ipod touch too. Isn’t technology awesome? It’s almost as if you have no idea about the technology and simply bought it to fit in, but I’m sure you’re way more savvy than that. Not at all an early adapting douche who feels the need to flaunt his gadgets in a vain attempt to appear more interesting than he really is, no you’re totally an apple power user.


Sent from my laptop, that allowed me to watch re runs of the power rangers while sending this email.

From [redacted]

Subject: Re: Fuck you.

Fuck you.

To [redacted]

Subject Re, Re: Fuck you.

Why aren’t you sending me a message off of one of your many gadgets?

From [redacted]

Subject: Re, Re, Re: Fuck you.

for your information my iphone broke and needed reparing dick.

To [redacted]

Subject: Re, Re, Re, Re: Fuck you.


You’re welcome.

I then received 10 follow-up messages all telling me to fuck off, I haven’t heard back since.



4 thoughts on “Hate Mail Pt 3.

  1. Pingback: Meta Hate, The Sweetest Hate Of All. | KarlSmallwood.com

  2. Pingback: Rationing out the hate. | KarlSmallwood.com

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