Below is a piece of content that never made it into this article. Dogs are cool, the only thing cooler is dogs that kick ass.
Literally translating to “cuddly bear” Bamse was a Norwegian St Bernard during WW2, when his owner got drafted into the war he took Bamse with him, just because.
Bamse was instantly loved by virtually every member of the crew, all of whome clubbed together to buy him not only a custom fitted tin hat, but a bus pass so he could travel around the town he was stationed in. Many were curious about how exactly the dog knew what he was doing, we however are curious about how someone would charge something so damn cute.
He also apparently had a private chef who followed him around.
Bamse quickly became a well known figure in theScottish town he was stationed in, even enjoying trips to the pub with the crew, in one instance seeing his favourite spot at the bar taken up by a cat, he responded to this insult by pushing it the fuck out of the way and waiting patiently to be served. The cat was presumably told to fuck off because it wasn’t Bamse.
He also had a remarkable calming effect on the other members of crew, stopping fights by physically stepping in and leading the offending party away to calm down. Altough to be fair if a 6ft tall St Bernard grabs your sleeve, you follow that dog or you lose your freaking arm.
Biggest moment of badassery.
Lt. Commander Olav August Johan Nilsen was going for a relaxing evening stroll, Bamse like a furry ninja was reported to be following some distance behind. The young Nilsen was suddenly set upon by a knife wielding thief.
Having no time to react Nilsen panicked only to see Bamse’s towering frame push the robber out of the way. Not being content with saving the life of his shipmate Bamse charged the thief again and knocked him off of the dock and into the water. The funny thing is no source mentions what happened to this thief, for all we know Bamse could have fucking killed the guy. Although with how well like he was we really wouldn’t be that surprised if he did kill someone and the local authorities simply covered it up.
This is actually his mugshot.
Bamse was later immortalised 60 years after his death and awarded a posthumous medal for his bravery and kindness. He also became a folk hero in his native Norway, we’d like to imagine that children everywhere in Norway are made to feel safe knowing that somewhere, some how, Bamse is watching.