On humour.

I was recently asked, “how do I be funny?”. Seeing as the last person to see me naked described me as hilarious, I thought I’d attempt to answer them.

First things first though to clarify the above, the person asked me not only how to be funny, but how to be funny like me. Which of course I cannot answer, asking how to be funny like me is akin to asking how I style my hair or pleasure women.

The answer to both of the above is use your index finger.

Either way all you’re going to get is a bunch of tips that you can’t mimic without looking awkward, until that is you put your own spin on it. Which is basically what humour is, humour is you, or the version of you, you want to project.

People use humour for a number of reasons, however I cannot comment on those people, mainly because I reserve my ability to read minds purely to see how people react to my farts. I can though, use my own experience. Humour to me is the most beautiful thing on earth and that’s including rainbows, sunrises and side cleavage. It’s a moment of pure joy that can not only make a single person feel better, but is actually contagious, meaning humour is technically the exact opposite of disease, because fuck disease.

Making somebody laugh, to me, is the greatest feeling, for one moment that person is completely in your power, feeling joy and happiness as a sole result of you, to me making someone laugh is like giving them an orgasm. And like an orgasm laughter is fun, satisfying and  always way more difficult to get from a woman, unless you’re really fucking good, or good at fucking depending on which metaphor you’re sticking with. However like an orgasm there are those who can’t experience laughter, unless under very specific circumstances, some people dismiss these people as cold, or my ex girlfriend, like wise though it is these people who are the most satisfying to make laugh.

I often use sex in my metaphors, similes and analogies purely because it is one thing everyone thinks about, regardless of whether they’re familiar with it. So for the rest of this piece simply replace the words humour, funny and laughter with sex if you don’t understand. Carrying swiftly on then, I believe most people learn about humour the same way, most people will at first see it on TV and don’t understand, then they’ll hear people discuss it and still not quite fully understand it’s only when they experience it will they get why people enjoy it.

Getting better at being funny is all about practise, practising by yourself can help but it only helps you feel comfortable with yourself, and get a feel for what you want. Finding the right person to practise with is key, find the right person and you’ll find that humour will flow naturally from you as you bounce off of each other. Find the wrong person and you end up arguing, misunderstanding and more often than not apologising while crying, at least for the first few times.

Once you’ve developed your skills, humour and being funny, like sex, should come naturally to you in most situations, although there are always times when you’ll get rusty and forget punch lines, and what goes where, but it happens, the important thing is to remain cool. Then again there are times when you’ll meet someone you’re not compatible with, in these situations it’s important to compromise to ensure everyone enjoys themselves until you find what works or get told to stop because you’re doing it wrong, again, it happens.

It’s also important to recognise different people like different things, some people like humour to be subtle and playful, others like it in their face and some even like it in a public place, hell I know I do. Then again it’s also important to remember that although awesome, humour isn’t something you can have all the time, sometimes you have to wait till you’re in private or until they’re drunk. Finding a balance is in my view, the most important part of humour, sometimes it needs to not happen, just to highlight how awesome it is, regardless of how short or hilarious it is when you finally do it, it just makes some people appreciate it more. Then again, there is always an exception to the rule, there are people who like humour all the time, some people may call them weird or my future ex-wife, but these people do exist.

It’s also important to note that humour is entirely unique to the individual, some people may enjoy things you consider odd, or strange, it’s important to not dismiss these ideas, as it’s possible to learn from them and incorporate them into your own brand of humour. As my old dad used to say, having stuff in your back pocket that may come in handy, is better than not having it when you need it. Which is funnily enough the motto he came up with after finding out I was going to be born.

I never did understand why he said it.

The most important thing I believe that anyone can learn about humour though is to experience it as much as possible, whether it’s with a group of friends or like me with one special someone and your video camera.


7 thoughts on “On humour.

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