So original.

I’ve long since gotten used to people mocking my last name, in fact the act of doing so annoys me not because it’s offensive but simply because it’s often accompanied by a shit eating grin of someone who thinks they’ve actually said something funny. Hopefully then this exchange will show how much effort people should put into a joke.

From [redacted]

Subject: In case you didn’t know.

Your name means you have a small penis.

LOL!

To [redacted]

Subject: In case you didn’t know.

Holy shit, have you any idea how many times I’ve heard that before?

Well actually I’m not going to ask that, simply because I don’t believe you can count that high, to be honest I don’t think you can tie your own shoes without setting your dick on fire.

Cheers.

From [redacted]

Subject: In case you didn’t know.

Well I thought you should know since I found it pretty funny.

To [redacted]

Subject: In case you didn’t know.

So did I, the first time I heard it. Now, not so much.

The sad part is, you truly believe you’re being witty and original, and that’s actually quite sad.

From [redacted]

Subject: In case you didn’t know.

least I don’t have a small dick!

To [redacted]

Subject: In case you didn’t know.

Ok, I’ve actually grown weary of this and I realise me simply saying anything to the contrary never helps, especially when the person I’m talking to (you) is fucking retarded. So I’m going to use maths, hope you can keep up.

The average length of a male penis is 3-5 inches, for the purpose of this I’ll use the higher average, since I know how often people lie about the upper limits of things. Then consider the average height of a male is set at 5 foot 10 inches tall. Using maths this would suggest an average males genitals are roughly 7% of his height.

But then you have to realise, I am not an average male, I stand at 6ft 3, so then using the above results, a person of my height would have genitals above the average described above.

Then realise the size of ones genitals are in fact not a quality many women seek in a partner, in fact it is sexual confidence and chemistry that the average most women agrees is the deciding factor on whether a man is a good sexual partner or not. 

Chemistry and confidence with a woman is again, on average according to various sources mainly put down to one key factor, a sense of humour. A good sense of humour would most likely be found in someone, say who has had millions of views for writing witty, original humour pieces of a world-famous comedy site, not someone who makes over used, cliché jokes relying on the basest of vulgar humour.

Then realise one of the physical traits most women find attractive is a man being tall and confident.

So to summarise, according to maths chances are I have larger genitals than you, am more attractive to women and better in bed. To summarise even further, fuck you.

From [redacted]

Subject: In case you didn’t know.

As if you worked that out are you gay or something?

To [redacted]

Subject: In case you didn’t know.

You wish.

 

4 thoughts on “So original.

    • Drew, you do know what irony is, right? It’s when something totally, completely unexpected happens, and I’m sorry to say, it’s not unexpected that someone going by the name of Hugedick is compensating for something.

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