Sticks and stones don’t break bones.

Sometimes people message me with one goal, to insult me. Now people say that words can hurt more than physical pain and those people are right, however the kind of people who usually insult me only succeed in tickling the part of my brain designed purely to stop me from stepping on baby birds. Although I can’t see them, I assume they’re not as cute as baby birds and step on them anyway.

From [redacted]

Subject: Hi.

Hi there

basically I wanted to message you saying that your a total fag. Like seriously ive looked at your facebook and your just a total pussy insulting people over the internet one day someones gonna fuck you up and i hope its me.

To [redacted]

Subject Hi.

Hello there!

I can tell from your well thought out message that you put a lot of effort into messaging me, so I’ll reply with the same level of enthusiasm I expect you put into mine.

lol suk my dick1!

I typed it with one hand, since I expect you’re the kind of person to have one hand firmly placed on another part of your anatomy while you type.

Bye!

From [redacted]

Subject Hi.

see thats how i know your a pussy first thing you did was asked me to suck your dick. no man just no. if you actually went out and got some pussy ill bet youd stop being such a fag.

like i said i hope we bump into each other one day so i can fuck you up.

To [redacted]

Subject Hi.

Not to get into semantics, but yeah, if you sucked my dick, you’d be the one with a cock in his mouth.

And as for “pussy” by which I assume you’re referring to ladies, which by the way, kudos to you for that I’ll bet the women in your life love being referred to as walking vaginas for you to stick your flaccid manhood into, I get enough. But why do I need to talk to you about that, you’re obviously the fucking man right? I’ll bet you get like, three chicks a night, sometimes more if they can handle it eh?

Oh and for reference I’m refusing to read the word you “up” in any message you send me, purely because it makes you seem, fabulous.

Although I’m still pretty scared because the way you seem to attack the keyboard with your unshaven palms, hints that you’re either retarded or have a hand missing, either way, that would mean I couldn’t hit you back. Although I could easily fool you with a logical riddle.

For example, if I was to say to you.

What does your dick and this riddle read aloud have in common?

it’s only going to come out on the internet!

From [redacted]

Subject Hi.

that wasnt funny id seriously fuck you up

To [redacted]

Subject Hi.

I bet you would😉 x x

From [redacted]

Subject Hi.

im not going to message you anymore you better watch your back

To [redacted]

Subject Hi.

Is back code for my ass?

From [redacted]

Subject Hi.

no you fag

To [redacted]

Subject Hi.

I thought you weren’t going to message me back?

From [redacted]

Subject Hi.

I’m not.

To [redacted]

Subject Hi.

[your message to karlsmallwood@hotmail.com could not be delivered]

From [redacted]

Subject Hi.

I’m not you dick

To [redacted]

Subject Hi.

[your message to karlsmallwood@hotmail.com could not be delivered]

From [redacted]

Subject Hi.

go fuck yourself

To [redacted]

Subject Hi.

[your message to karlsmallwood@hotmail.com could not be delivered]

From [redacted]

Subject Hi.

I give up.

To [redacted]

Subject Hi.

[your message to karlsmallwood@hotmail.com was delivered, as were all the other ones you stupid fuck.]

From [redacted]

Subject Hi.

Fuck off

2 thoughts on “Sticks and stones don’t break bones.

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