Last year I wrote this, all about people who were trolling the shit out of a writer I greatly admire. In response I received so much hate mail aimed at insulting my sexual prowess and ability to use my hands to create anything worthwhile that one of my ex-girlfriends orgasmed out of instinct. The key player behind all of that was a single guy, who I swore to myself I’d never out, because he wasn’t worth it. He just became worth it.
The guy goes by the name, Ono Sendai, or if you want the name he claims is his, Randy Ballew. I say claim because he’s spelled it at least 2 different ways since this started, but hey, we’ve all been there, right?
Initially I was a little hesitant to post this, not because it acknowledges Randy’s position in any way, but because he’s made numerous, detailed threats to sue me for reprinting information he himself was happy to admit in open forums. A sentence so retarded it could only be written about him.
Of course, because lawyers fucking love suing people in foreign countries on behalf of people who are obviously mentally deficient, I wanted to give them a fighting chance. So here’s Randy’s face too.
Yep, that up there is the face of a guy who is both an ex tennis pro and an author who has written 3 books that are so popular he no longer needs to work. The same guy who created an entire blog dedicated to harassing a Cracked writer over a single article he didn’t agree with, which also included a post dedicated entirely to me and how ugly I am.
The same guy who sent me and senior Cracked editor David Wong an email begging to be allowed to comment on Cracked articles again because the Cracked comment section is where all his friends are, fucking seriously.
The same guy who two days after getting his wish of being able to comment again, did exactly the same fucking thing again under a different name because Randy is a guy who believes in people being held accountable for their actions, unless they’re him.
If you’re wondering what the comment was about, John Cheese paid for a chunk of his wedding entirely off of the back of the kindness of stranger. Which of course gave Randy the right to act like an entitled asshole because that’s how charity works, doing somebody a favour out of the kindness of your heart means that, that person owes you one and you can be a dick to them with impunity.
I’m sure he has an excuse for this, or I will have people accuse me of picking on him. I’d like to inform people that I’m not, this post is to raise awareness of a very serious problem that I and all of my writing friends suffer from, people like Randy. People who think that they can say whatever the fuck they want without consequence and that us writers have to take it. People who post nothing but insults and get angry when those comments get deleted. People who assume that taking abuse is part of being a writer. People who think that they have a right to be a dick because of free speech.
The internet is a wonderful tool and constructive criticism is a great thing, it allows creative mediums to improve and evolve. But if you’re going to be a dick online, especially after you’ve been given a second chance. Don’t expect me to not draw a dick on your face. And yes, I know I’ve used that joke before, but you know what, I’ve wasted enough time on this asshole.