Every now and again, I’ll pitch an article for one of the sites I write for that for some reason or other, doesn’t work. Here is one such article. Enjoy!
Men’s rights are a worthy cause, as I spent a considerable part of my childhood being raised in a male single parent household I understand the position some of these men come from. However, like with most things online, reasonable people are a lot harder to find than the stupid ones. Here are 10 of the most hilariously stupid things ever put forward by men’s rights advocates.
The quote: “Sadly daycares mean just women, I’ve tried to apply at some before, they wouldn’t let me. Their reason is I’m male because males molest basically”
Now it’s not the last part of this sentence that’s stupid, because it’s obvious hyperbole for comedic effect. It’s the first part which you’ll notice is a completely unsubstantiated fact based purely on personal experience. Surely someone picked up on that right? Surely someone picked up on this guy extrapolating personal experience and applying to the entire world, right? Please? Well dadly this was on Reddit and they love that kind of stuff. Meaning rather than call this guy a dipshit, they just piled on support and another unsubstantiated story claiming that a woman abused someone at a day care, because women are the monsters here!
The quote: “If this flavor of courtesy is a good/virtuous thing, then why are only women deserving of it? Should not men be treated with the same kindness”
The men’s rights Sub/Reddit is a place where neutrality goes to die, it’s thousands of men yelling into an echo box about how much they hate women and calling what comes back out insight. The above quote is taken from a thread started about the concept of “ladies first” at a party which incensed the poster so much he just had to tell all the other men about how he was being discriminated against. You’ll notice that this is a topic so inconsequentially small people who make condoms for mice use it for scale.
It only serves to highlight the innate flaw in some MRA’s thought process, they don’t want equality, they want to be superior to women, Ladies first, bah, why not men first, feminists! They can’t stand the thought of the opposite sex getting anything, regardless of how little it personally effects their lives. You had to wait 30 seconds to get a piece of cake at a small gathering because someone said ladies first? Good job you acted like a compleyte fucking douche about it, now you won’t ever get invited to their parties ever again. Progress!
The quote: “a man should be given the right to walk away completely from any legal, financial, obligation towards a child he had no intention of siring.”
A favourite past-time of MRA is to go into feminist blogs and yell at them in the comment section, a tactic that’s about as likely to convince someone to change their mind as hitting their kids with a wet sack of fish heads while screaming in Arabic.
The above quote is from a comment on this article, because yes, you read that right, if a man doesn’t want anything to do with the fruit of his loins, he should be able to tell the woman to do one and completely absolve himself of any and all responsibility to do with the child. Though to be fair, this anonymous internet commenter did stress that men shouldn’t be able to force women to get an abortion. Which is nice?
The quote: “Incest is like a magnifying glass .. In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty of the relationship, and in others it magnifies the trauma”
That is a direct quote is from prominent MRA Warren Farrell, a man with a view of healthy relationships so skewed and illegal that just searching his name on Google makes sure your computer is automatically flagged to be screened by the FBI.
According to Warren a heathly, sexual relationship between a father and a daughter can be had, but society is the problem because society is a spoil sport and says that having sex with your children is wrong. You may think, surely this guy is crazy, surely other MRA don’t want to listen to anything this guy has to say, well …
The quote: “She is clearly sadistic, unable and unwilling to recognize the humanity of anyone who does not slavishly and blindly agree with her own religion of hate”
Believe it or not that quote is about a young lady who attempted to block Warren Farrel from giving a talk at her university, you know, that guy who thinks it’s okay to have sex with children as long as you do it just right!
Prominent MRA site, A Voice For Men, which I won’t link to on principle unless absolutely necessary, called for its readers to identify the woman, for reasons they wouldn’t disclose. Ironically, the guy who wrote the post asked people reporting on his words to not name him because he wanted to avoid harassment for his views. Yep, you read that right, a guy who vehemently believes that men and women should be completely equal asked people to not name him while trying to name and shame a woman who was expressing her own, equally as valid opinion. An opinion, and I can’t express this enough, that a guy who once said it’s okay to have sex with your kids should go eat a dick.
The quote: “Should I be called to sit on a jury for a rape trial, I vow publicly to vote not guilty, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that the charges are true.
Rape is a touchy subject with MRA, presumably because it’s the closest they’ll ever get to being inside of a woman themselves. Now false rape accusations can and do happen, but you know what else happens a hell of a lot more? Women being raped!
The above quote was from a Mr Paul Elam, a man who seems to only be able to communicate by beating the keyboard with his flaccid useless excuse for a wang. Every word he’s ever typed reads like he has a personal vendetta against every vagina in the world, even though he probably has no idea what one actually looks like. So yeah, if you’re one of the brave women who decides to testify in court about your rape, if Paul Elam is there, he won’t be buying your story.
Bonus! The original article where the quote comes from is no longer live, but here’s one of Elam’s co-workers confirming it on AvoiceForMen.com. Because when someone says they’d let a rapist walk free, you keep that guy on staff.
The quote: “He panicked and hit her. Sure he should have just have restrained her and took the condom out of her hands but we’re human and its not like he continually beat her into a pulp.”
For the confused this quote is in response to (the completely and utterly fake) story of a woman stealing a man’s sperm to get a baby and that man punching that woman right in the gut for doing so. A hoax story written purposely to be an exaggerated mockery of everything MRA believe just to see if they’d believe it and whether they’d try to defend the man doing the punching. They did, because of course they did, sperm theft is a serious and totally not made up crime. These men would believe monkeys farted gold if you blamed them not knowing on women.
The above quote is the closest example this writer could find of someone actually coming out and saying that punching a woman in the gut is a bad thing, but then again, it’s not like he kept punching her, is it? According to the original proponent of the story, despite his bogus tale being spread across several men’s rights sites, no one, anywhere actually said that it’s not okay to punch a woman in the face. But wait, it gets better.
The quote: “I normally try to stay neutral as best I can in matters relating to the men’s rights/feminism debate, but this has me grinding my teeth. So this is what feminists think about one of our most pressing issues.”
That is a quote from a MRA about the story linked above, you know, that one that was specifically written to be as stupid and unbelievable as possible. According to him, that is one of the most pressing issues MRA face today. Women stealing their sperm. Not issues to do with father’s rights, or male maternity leave. Them being so irristable to women, having sperm and genetics so desirable, that women will straight up steal it.
The only other people out there with a grasp of what people want to do to them that loose are sat in Guantanamo bay and at least we don’t agree with what happens to them. If someone punched the guy who came up with that quote above I’m pretty sure they’d drown in handshakes before the police arrived.
The quote: “Female initiation of partner violence is the leading reason for the woman becoming a victim of subsequent violence”
Domestic violence is absolutely not funny, it’s a serious issue that is incredibly sensitve, the above quote is from the The Southern Poverty Law Center’s report on men’s rights sites that it considers hate groups due to their incredibly harmful view of women in general.
The site in question (which I’ll again, not be linking, because screw them) SAVE Services reports the above quote as a fact, you know, even though there’s no proof of that fact, anywhere! If someone tells you the only reason men beat up women is out of self defence instead of because they’re a horrible human being, feel free to ignore that person and if you’re so inclined, slap them in the face.
The quote: “This public conception depends, of course, on ignoring the fact that rape is committed by women as well as men, in nearly equal numbers”
The above quote is so backwards and wrong the spell checker on my computer actually booted up the second I pasted into this document. Let’s just clear this up, yes women do commit rapes, however, the vast majority of rapists are men, 99% of them in fact. The above quote only shows how backwards and ignorant of facts MRA will be to try and get their point across. JK Rowling would struggle to get that much fiction into a single sentence, so kudos for that John Hembling.
They honestly believe that there is some vast conspiracy aimed at men perpetrated by women just to keep them down and they have an entire site (that’s considered a hate group) where they can yell about it and shout down anyone who doesn’t agree with them. Because who else is going to look out for middle class white men? When do they ever have it easy?
When he’s not being a mindless sheep of the feminazi conspiracy, Karl likes to Tweet.